


now and then

by xundaeism



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - After College/University, Confused Jongdae, Fluff and Angst, M/M, New Year's Eve, Temporarily Unrequited Love, Whipped Oh Sehun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:08:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28355220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xundaeism/pseuds/xundaeism
Summary: It is common knowledge, among their friends, that Sehun has had a crush on Jongdae for years; and that said crush hasn’t been reciprocated for the exact same amount of years. Hence, when Jongdae bumps into his best friend a few days after Christmas and his heart rate increases because of how stunning Sehun looks, it doesn’t make sense at all.
Relationships: Kim Jongdae | Chen/Oh Sehun
Comments: 13
Kudos: 69
Collections: EXO on Ice Round 1





	now and then

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, everyone! I hope you like this little piece and it brings at least a little joy to your hearts, because it certainly brought a lot to mine. Thank you for stopping by, and I wish you have incredible (and safe) holidays.
> 
> Prompt #270 of the EXO On Ice Fic Fest.

It is common knowledge, among his friends, that Sehun has had a crush on Jongdae for years; and that said crush hasn’t been reciprocated for the exact same amount of years.

The way it began dates back to the year they got paired as roommates at Korea University. Sehun was dusting his 40’’ by 30’’ desk when a pocket-sized lean figure greeted him at the door and, oh boy, he was screwed. In twenty minutes he learned everything he needed about Kim Jongdae; from where he had been born – Daejeon, to what he had eaten for breakfast before leaving home that day – egg fried rice, but most important – that he had a _boyfriend_.

Of course, it wasn’t exciting to learn that the hot dude he just met was in a relationship, but at least he wasn’t straight, right? That would have been far worse. At least, Sehun had a chance once Jongdae and his boyfriend broke up. _Not a nice thought, he knew_.

Jongdae and Sehun’s #1 enemy broke up later on a crispy weekend of autumn. They stepped out of campus and drank their asses off at some convenience store on the outskirts of KU, talked about how much of a _fucking jerk_ the now-ex-boyfriend was, and sauntered until the pinks and blues tinted the morning sky. After stopping by the subway’s bathroom to freshen up they went back to the dormitory where both flaked out instantly.

❄

Sehun revealed his feelings for Jongdae five months after that night.

Jongdae rejected Sehun’s feelings five seconds after the confession.

❄

Their friendship faltered for a while. Sehun started avoiding being alone with Jongdae – which was exhausting because they were roommates–, and therefore Jongdae began avoiding Sehun in public – which made it tremendously awkward when they had no other choice but to be each other’s company.

That posture from both ends continued for around six weeks, until Jongdae passed out from stress at his Global Economy class. Sehun was called from the International Relations’ infirmary because Jongdae claimed he wouldn’t talk to anyone if Oh Sehun from Business Administration wasn’t in the room. So, Sehun left his classroom without thinking twice and learned he would rather have Jongdae by his side, heartache included, than not have him at all.

❄

It is common knowledge, among their friends, that Sehun has had a crush on Jongdae for years; and that said crush hasn’t been reciprocated for the exact same amount of years. Hence, when Jongdae bumps into his best friend a few days after Christmas and his heart rate increases because of how stunning Sehun looks, it doesn’t make sense at all.

“You never look where you’re going,” Sehun mocks him tenderly. “What are you doing here?”

Jongdae scoffs, still trying to take his mind off of the way the fairy lights sparkle cheerfully on Sehun’s eyes. “Forgot about the movie?” he crosses his arms. “I can’t believe you.”

Yes, and Jongdae also can’t believe how a grown man can look so fucking adorable with a pink nose due to the freezing weather and the lack of a scarf on said grown man’s neck and face. Outrageous.

“What?” Sehun’s eyes open wide. “You said you were busy tonight!” He crosses his arms and pouts. 

“Well, I _unbusied_ myself for you!” Jongdae whisper-yells.

“And you forgot to tell me?” Sehun giggles.

It has happened before.

“No…” Jongdae thinks about it. “Maybe.”

Sehun laughs again, the high pitched laugh this time, the one that makes Jongdae crack up when they’re alone.

“God, you’re a lost cause.” Sehun sighs. “Let’s go, then. Your place, though, mine’s a mess.”

Jongdae takes a step back and rapidly takes place next to Sehun. He wants to keep watching the lights, the decoration, the snow and he wants to listen to the glee in the crowd’s voices but now that Sehun is with him that seems impossible. All Jongdae can do is look at him. He finds the warmth of the lights contrasts against Sehun’s skin, and how he wishes he could be the snow that lands calmly on his messy strands of hair; Sehun looks beautiful, he always has been beautiful but Jongdae never stopped to contemplate him, not like this.

“What?” Sehun inquires. “Is there something on my face?” He starts rubbing his cheeks and licks his lips. Wait. Is he wearing lipstick?

“Chapstick.” Sehun says.

“Huh?”

Jongdae’s mouth has the ability to speak on its own and betray him when he desperately needs it to stay shut. His friends and acquaintances have grown accustomed to it. Sehun finds it endearing, or so he says.

“It’s not lipstick, it’s chapstick.” Sehun presses his lips together and makes a little pop sound that makes Jongdae completely lose his mind. “It has a little bit of color, I think. You know how chapped my lips get in the wintertime.”

“Oh, yeah. I knew that.” Jongdae clears his throat. Observing his best friend is dangerous, so he decides to force himself to look at the marvelous sight on the other side of the street. Sehun works at the very center of Seoul which means he gets to see the most amazing views on the holidays. He is used to it by now but for Jongdae it’s a novelty most of the time.

The path from Sehun’s workplace to Jongdae’s apartment isn’t lengthy but it is exhausting because they have to ascend and descend from several staircases. Everybody hates going to Jongdae’s place, especially Jongdae.

“Move somewhere else, I beg.” Sehun whines once they get in the apartment.

“I’m trying, okay?” Jongdae responds. “Go to the room, I’ll grab snacks and be there in a minute.”

Sehun doesn’t need to be told twice; he bolts through the hallway and the next thing Jongdae hears is the sound of the mattress and Sehun’s grunty moans – he tends to do that when he’s too comfortable. That wouldn't have been a problem a few months ago but, now? Jongdae’s pants say otherwise.

He tries to take his time picking the sweets, drinks and preparing some ramen for both of them to eat. The last thing he wants is Sehun to notice the bulge in his pants, plus, they’re watching one of those cheesy Hallmark movies. Not the time for horny thoughts.

“Hurry the fuck up!” Sehun shouts.

“Coming!” Jongdae shouts back.

Coming… yeah, he wishes.

“That’s so dumb,” Sehun pouts. “How can a town like that have only one doctor or no doctor at all? I call bullshit.”

Jongdae only nods, but he’s not paying much attention to the movie. Not really.

“Sehun?”

“Mmh?” Sehun tries to mumble. “What is it?” He asks, taking his eyes off of the screen for a few seconds.

“Did you do something different today?” Jongdae cocks his head to the side trying to get a better look of Sehun, and no, to be real, Sehun doesn’t look different but there is _something_ about him that’s making Jongdae go nuts.

“Like what?” Sehun furrows his eyebrows.

“Dunno.” Jongdae shrugs. “Like… makeup or cologne? Things like that.”

It is not that. He would have noticed, he knows, but he needs that something to be tangible just to make a little sense of it.

Sehun thinks about it.

“I don’t think so?” He answers. “Why?”

“Nothing, just…” Jongdae sighs and unconsciously gets closer to Sehun. “Has your skin always been this soft?” Jongdae lifts his hand for his knuckles to run quietly across Sehun’s cheek.

“I-I don’t know,” Sehun stutters.

His eyes look beautiful as well, they looked beautiful under the Christmas lights of Baekhyun’s enormous tree at the party on Thursday night too, and among the decorations of his office’s street. Why are they making Jongdae feel this way? Why are they encouraging him to come closer?

“What are you doing?” Sehun’s eyes open wide. “Are you messing with me?”

“Wh-?” Jongdae blinks once. Twice.

Fuck.

He’s too close, he can feel Sehun’s breath on his own lips.

“You’re so fucking cruel, jeez.” Sehun’s back thuds against the headboard in an attempt to back away from Jongdae’s proximity. 

The next thing he knows is Sehun left the room and the woman from the movie is running towards the arms of the love of her life.

“Hunnie?” Jongdae waits until the credits are over to step out of his bedroom and go look for Sehun. He finds him as vulnerable as he can be, pressed against the front door, ready to leave if needed.

“What was that about?” Sehun’s voice comes out thin. “Is it about that test Baekhyun brought up?”

“A test? What tes-?” _The test_. On their last brunch their mutual friend tried to make Jongdae kiss Sehun, just to see if he could feel anything. “He is a heartless idiot, I would never do that to you.” Jongdae takes a step to the front. Sehun flinches.

“Then what was that about?” He asks again.

“I- well, I was just looking at your skin.” Jongdae shrugs. “Looks soft.”

Sehun flushes red from the neck to the ears but not the cheeks. Jongdae has embarrassed him.

“I’m sorry, Hunnie.” He sighs. “I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s okay.” Sehun loosens up a bit and gifts Jongdae a tiny smile. “I gave up a long time ago.” He confesses.

“You did?” Jongdae is taken aback. Or that’s what he tries to tell himself to justify the slight burn creeping from his stomach to his chest.

“Of course,” Sehun rolls his eyes.

“Why?”

“What do you mean ‘why’?” _Yes, Jongdae, what the fuck do you mean?_ “You wanted me to be perpetually in love with you?”

Yes.

No.

Yes?

They drink a bottle of soju before Sehun decides it’s time to go back home.

Jongdae starts analyzing his behavior as his head hits the pillow. He doesn’t understand the reason why his chest ached so badly when Sehun admitted he had given up on him.

Wasn’t that a good thing? Jongdae had suffered for years, hiding his relationships from his best friend, afraid that he might hurt Sehun for not feeling that kind of love in return. It was a good thing, definitely, no doubt in his mind.

So, why? Was Jongdae that selfish? Did Jongdae want Sehun to love him, even if he himself couldn’t love him back?

Then it hits him. It hits Jongdae like a monster truck filled with rocks and desperation.

He closes his eyes and breathes slowly through his nose. He doesn’t fall asleep in awhile but he stops the thoughts, the ideas, the memories, and he calms himself down after minutes of trying.

Seconds pass too lazily for his liking, they pass as he falls asleep.

Later he dreams.

Of him. And he likes it.

He likes him.

❄

Baekhyun has a big place, courtesy of his wealthy grandparents and his handy skill of making old people laugh. The KU squad gathers there for most reunions, whether it’s their monthly brunch or the annual –and massive– Halloween party, it doesn’t even matter that most of them have to endure an hour long trip from their homes or workplaces to Baekhuyn’s, it’s _that_ worth it.

By the time Jongdae arrives everyone else is already there, and all the gifts from the Christmas exchange are neatly placed on a large table by the entrance. Ah, yes, Christmas was a week ago but that night the alcohol got out of hand, by the time they were supposed to exchange the presents they were too wasted to even remember which gift was whose; therefore, they’re doing the exchange tonight, right before the countdown. 

“Welcome, welcome!” Jongdae hears Baekhyun’s voice over the soft muffled music coming from the living room. “What took you so long? We were just waiting for you.”

Jongdae scratches his head a little. “Dunno, when I looked at the clock it was already late.” He beams. “Here.”

Baekhyun takes the Taittinger bag from Jongdae’s hands and grins as he says: “Isn’t this Sehunnie’s most favorite champagne ever?”

“Is it?” Jongdae tries to pretend surprise, but his friend before him already knows the truth.

“Whipped,” Baekhyun whispers.

“What did you say?” Jongdae bickers.

“You know well what I said, now come on. Everyone’s waiting.”

Baekhyun shouts Jongdae’s arrival and now everyone gathers around his space to fight him for being late. Everyone except for some of his friend’s partners and one person he has never seen before.

When they enter the dining room there is one large rectangular table at the center, and four round tables placed on each corner of the room, the chairs are named and it is not bewildering when Jongdae notices he has been seated next to Sehun, right under a mistletoe. Great. Baekhyun is a petty little bitch.

“Hi,” Sehun smiles at him. They hadn’t spoken directly since that night at Jongdae’s apartment.

“‘Sup,” He replies nonchalantly. “I thought you weren’t coming today.”

“Yeah, change of plans.”

Jongdae nods.

“By the way, this is Kyungsoo.” Sehun pushes himself to the back of his chair to let Jongdae and the unknown man –Kyungsoo apparently– see each other.

At first, Jongdae cannot believe it.

“And this is Jongdae,” Sehun scratches his nose, and that Kyungsoo guy bites back a grin.

“Nice to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you.” Kyungsoo says with his dumb full lips and smart voice.

“Good things I hope,” Jongdae smiles thinly.

“Of course,” Kyungsoo laughs, almost as if he’s mocking Jongdae.

Fuck.

“The buffet table is open! There’s something special scheduled in two hours so hurry or we’re leaving you behind.” Baekhyun’s yell resonates all over the room. 

“Let’s go or Chanyeol’s taking all the ribs,” Sehun tells both of the men by his sides. 

Jongdae still cannot believe it.

“Remember I told you guys how much I wanted to listen to some live music on this day? Well, turns out Sehunnie’s friend plays the piano and he will make this dream of mine come true. Let’s cheer loudly for Do Kyungsoo, people!”

“So,” Jongdae clears his throat, “where did you meet him?”

“Ah, he was playing at the airport once. There’s a piano at Incheon’s, remember? Our flight was delayed and instead of making a scene like many he decided to play some songs,” Sehun explained in a murmur. “We ended up sitting beside each other once we got in the plane and we got along well.”

“When?” 

“In September,” Sehun says, “that time I came back early from my business trip for your birthday.”

Jongdae recalls Sehun arriving at his house overly excited that day, it wasn’t strange since Sehun is naturally a bubbly person but now it makes sense. Much more sense.

“I’m happy for you.” Jongdae bumps his shoulder with Sehun’s arm slightly.

“For having friends other than you?” Sehun laughs. “Thanks, I guess.”

“I know he’s more than a friend to you. You wouldn’t have brought him here if he wasn’t.” Jongdae rolls his eyes.

“You think he and I…?” Sehun’s mouth snaps shut. “No way.” He shakes his head now. “You got it all wrong.”

“Do I?” Jongdae crosses his arms.

“If I was seeing anyone you’d be the first to know.” Sehun says. “You’re my best friend, Jongdae.”

“Am I?” He scoffs. Why is he so mad?

Sehun lifts an eyebrow and grabs him by the arm to take him out of the living room. “What’s going on with you?” He questions as his forehead creases.

“Nothing.” Jongdae’s mouth twitches. “Let’s go back.”

“No.” Sehun stops him by standing in front of him. “Kyungsoo and I- we-” he stutters – “he told me he was spending the night alone, so I thought we could spend the night together. As friends. Because I didn’t want him to be alone. But then, his girlfriend told him someone at the hospital she works for offered themselves to stay the night instead of her, but Kyungsoo and I already had plans and he was too ashamed to tell me. We had made a reservation at a restaurant for the three of us but let’s be real, I was going to be awkwardly third wheeling, so I called Baekhyun and asked if they could come.”

Jongdae scoffs. “Sure,” he says. “And where’s the girlfriend?”

Sehun glares at him.

“She finished her shift at 8, and their house is an hour and a half away. She had to get ready before coming, she’ll be here soon. Kyungsoo couldn’t wait for her because Baekhyun wanted his live music.”

“Let’s just go back.” Jongdae doesn’t wait for an answer as he stomps back to the room where a lively melody is played by Sehun’s-not-date.

“Y’all sober enough for the exchange?” Baekhyun yells after Kyungsoo’s set and the cheering is over. 

Jongdae glances across the room to find Sehun whispering sweet nothings on Kyugnsoo’s ear. _Girlfriend his ass_. Those two are fucking.

The table where the gifts are placed is taken from the entrance hall to the living room by Yixing and Junmyeon, and once everyone is ready they all gather around the fireplace to begin with the exchange.

“I’ll start!” Chanyeol rises from his seat, takes a red and white box from the pile and says: “Come pick up your gift, Minseok.”

Everyone yells their guess of what the gift might be, and that happens with each one of the next presents until it’s Sehun’s turn.

“I got Dae,” Sehun beams at him. The entire room whistles annoyingly as the doorbell rings. Jongdae doesn’t notice the way Kyungsoo dashes from his place to the door, nor does he notice the muffled laughter of the same man and the woman who has arrived at the party. All he sees is Sehun standing beautifully beside the table of gifts as he holds a small black box with a platinum ribbon.

“You’re supposed to come here, y’know?” Sehun frowns trying to sound playful, but Jongdae knows him too well.

“Me?” Jongdae clears his throat. “The music’s too loud, I didn’t hear you.” He lies.

“Just come and get it,” Sehun rolls his eyes and stretches his arm with the box in hand.

“Is it a key to the nearest mot-?” Baekhyun teases before his girlfriend hits him on the stomach and scolds him for being inappropriate.

In the meantime, Jongdae takes the box and undoes the ribbon as their friends yell their guesses. They go from a ticket to Hawaii to a pair of kinky handcuffs, but it’s none of them. Jongdae’s lip trembles at the surprise of what he’s looking at.

“You-” he presses his lips together– “are you kidding me?” Sehun shakes his head. “This is a knock-off, right?”

It’s impossible Sehun got him a David Yuman necklace. There is no way. The real thing has diamonds in it...

“Shut up. It’s your turn now.” Sehun winks and returns to his spot on the sofa, right between Baekhyun and Kyungsoo.

Jongdae’s mouth is still gaping as he takes the gift he bought from the pile. “This is for Fan,” he says. The not-overly-expensive coat he got for Yixing’s boyfriend is going to look bland next to what Sehun has got for him.

The last gift was given and everyone went back to their drinks, because drinking wasn’t allowed during the exchange, they weren’t making the same mistake twice. And it was a good decision or Jongdae would have missed the present Baekhyun prepared for Kyungsoo and his girlfriend –who wouldn’t have received any gift –, which was an all-paid trip to The Bahamas. The way awe crossed their faces was priceless, the good kind of priceless.

“I can’t take this.” Jongdae mutters as he nudges the black box with the diamond necklace against Sehun’s chest.

Sehun sighs. “But I told you I’d get it for you someday.” 

“And I thought you were being corny.” Jongdae curves his lips into a tiny smile.

“Duh, I was corny but serious.” Sehun pushes the box back to him and crosses his arms.

“Sehun, I really can’t-”

Sehun interrupts him and softly holds Jongdae by the shoulders.

“Okay, I’ll give you the receipt and you’ll return it. If you can.” Sehun grins devilishly. “What?” He titters.

Sehun knows Jongdae way too well, and he knows once Jongdae took that piece of jewelry in his hands he wouldn’t be able to let it go unless someone took it away.

“Thank you.” Jongdae gives up, and it feels nice to give up if that makes him happy.

“You’re welcome.” Sehun lets his hands drop to his sides, not without caressing Jongdae’s along the way. “I was happy I got your name. I knew what to get as soon as I read it.”

“Well, of course, you knew. We’re besties.” Jongdae shuffled his feet.

“Even if you don’t believe me sometimes.” Sehun chuckles.

“Oh, come on.” Jongdae groans shyly. “I’m sorry.” He says. “I thought- nevermind.”

Sehun doesn’t say anything, just nods.

Minutes pass, everyone seems to be chatting. Sehun’s friend blends nicely among them, Jongdae thinks he would be a great addition to the group.

“Ten minutes, huh.” Sehun speaks suddenly.

Jongdae looks at his phone. “Nine minutes and like forty seconds, actually.” He grins.

“Smartass.” Sehun rolls his eyes. It should be annoying but he likes when Sehun does that.

“You love this smartass.” Jongdae’s cheekbones lift high.

There are a few seconds of silence before Sehun replies: “Yeah. Yeah, I do.” He turns red in the face. “I’ll go get myself a drink, be right back.”

And as quickly as he spoke, he walked away.

“He broke the rules, huh?” Baekhyun’s voice rings in Jongdae’s ears. “That thing is expensive as hell, like, not even I would get it for myself. Way above the range we set for the exchange.”

Jongdae glares at him.

“Just saying.” Baekhyun shrugs his shoulders. “Happy new year, Dae. I’ll go kiss the fuck outta my girl.” He winks coolly and then shouts: “Four minutes!”

Jongdae rolls his tensed shoulders back and forth. Isn’t this day, at this hour, supposed to be… reckless? Why can’t he be reckless?

“Hi again.” Sehun is back beside him.

Jongdae threads his fingers through his hair. “My drink’s gone so I-”

“I’m one step ahead of you,” Sehun says and hands him a new glass of the champagne he brough.

“Thanks.” Jongdae presses his lips in a line. He starts tapping his foot unconsciously but it doesn’t go unnoticed.

“Are you o-?” Sehun tries to ask.

“Sorry about the other night.”

Sehun takes in a sharp breath. “Oh. Yeah, no. It’s all good.” He looks away.

“Okay.” Jongdae’s heart appears to be racing now. “Sorry, anyway.”

“It’s fine.” Sehun massages the back of his neck. “Really.”

Jongdae nods, he will say one more thing when Chanyeol’s voice erupts from the center of the room and attracts everyone’s attention.

“Are you ready for 2021?!” Chanyeol screams. The entire room answers in different ways at the same time. Blood starts rushing through their veins, unintentional screams of joy come out of their mouths and the adrenaline rises high until it can no longer be contained as the group chants the countdown.

“Ten.”

“Nine.”

“Eight.”

“Seven.”

“Sehunnie,” Jongdae calls hurriedly for his best friend.

“Five.”

“Four.”

“Three.”

“Two.”

A grand round of glee bursts in the room as the clock announces the end of the last day of 2020. Perhaps it is the same merriment that pushes Jongdae to the edge, as he grips his palms onto Sehun’s neck and brings his lips to his own.

It’s dizziness like he has never felt before, it’s delight and it’s love. It’s so much love contained in a simple entanglement of skin that’s meant to show intimacy. Is Sehun feeling as bright as Jongdae is? Is Sehun feeling the warmth lighting up their mien? Jondae hopes so, he painfully hopes so.

For a moment it seems like Sehun becomes aware of what is happening and he backs away hastily, but Jongdae is quick to let him know this expression isn’t something to be regretted later.

“We’ll talk about it tomorrow, yeah?” Jongdae whispers. “Just know that I meant it. It took me long enough but I feel it.”

Sehun’s eyes glisten as if there was a galaxy hidden behind them when he mutters a weak “okay”.

“Okay, then.” Jongdae reassures him with a smile.

They stare at each other for a while, maybe trying to explain to their head what had just happened and failing miserably at it. 

But it would be fine, they would be f-

“ _Now you two got some explaining to do_.”


End file.
